


Come Into Your Own

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, Marauders' Era, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 05:56:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5900902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>First kisses and haircuts</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come Into Your Own

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

What would you say to me if you ran into me on the streets?

A simple "Hello Remus!" or "Fuck! It's the werewolf!" It's always one or the other, never anything in between. The latter is very rarely used and I can hardly tell you how grateful I am for that. I have recently experienced what it is to be a man, okay fine, I went through puberty. I just thank god it was the summer and I wasn't in school for that...experience. Okay well, yes, it never fails, always the same dull "Hello Remus!" It's not that I don't like my name or anything like that it's just the fact that I can never get any attention!

I was getting my school supplies down in Diagon Alley like I always do, every summer, for three years. Well like I said I just went through puberty but unlike Sirius, James and maybe even Peter I don't look all that different. Maybe it's the wolf in me. I feel kinda funny, like that feeling you get when you eat a lot but its more like, a fear? Sometimes I feel that if I close my eyes everything will have changed and I won't know how to feel anymore. It may seem stupid, I know. Well okay, so I was looking around the apothecary for some potion ingredients I would need for the upcoming school year, I felt eyes burning into my back. I turned around but not many people were there and certainly none of the people who **were** there would be looking at a short, scrawny, amber eyed boy with dirty blonde hair. I could still feel the eyes on me even though I looked all around the shop. I reluctantly turned around once again to the pile of...I'm not quite sure anymore, I can't remember. I could still feel someone's eyes on me it was so unnerving, I was sweating myself into oblivion! I couldn't take it anymore I had to get out of there.

I felt a little better when I felt the wind whip gently at my face. I sprinted down Diagon Alley and ran straight into something but nothing was there! I couldn't see a thing. Whatever it was knocked me flat on my back and I soon found out that something was a someone. An invisible hand covered my mouth and I panicked. I started kicking and screaming although my voice was muffled. Then finally a masculine sounding voice said,

"Hello Remus!" Grr... There it was again...I immediately identified the voice as James Potter and I let my body relax beneath my friend.

James took off his invisibility cloak and stuffed it into my bag of robes, still chuckling at me,

"God, James! You scared the daylights outta me!" I told him rubbing my chest for emphasis,

"Ha! That's what you get for..." He stopped to think, "Well it doesn't matter what it's for but you shoulda got it anyhow. So Remus! How did the summer treat you?"

"It was good to me James, you don't need to worry," I said laughing at his happy-go-lucky attitude.

"Good, good, that's great."

"How was your summer, James?"

"Not so good..."

"Oh? Why is that?"

"I spent all summer hiding from Sirius!" I suppressed a grin,

"Why would you do that?"

"Because he's a maniac! That maniacal bastard! I swear if I even so much as poked my nose out of the doorframe he would have jumped on me!"

"No need to raise your voice there James."

"Sorry, hey...speaking of voices..." he looked at the side of my face and I blushed deep crimson, James burst out in laughter, yeah, some friend **he** is...honestly, he absolutely refused to stop laughing! He doubled over so that he was on his hands and knees right in the middle of the street! Well...at least I was getting **some** attention.

"James! People are staring!" I told him but he just started to laugh harder, "Honestly! And you say Sirius is the maniac..."

That didn't help in the least. He only started to laugh even harder. Boy, this was going to be a long day... After what seemed like hours he finally stopped and wiped the tears from his cheeks.

"Come on," he said between chuckles, "We have to go meet Sirius at Fortescues."

I sighed and nodded. James casually slung his arm across my shoulders and we started walking down the street. Yeah, this was going to be a long day... When James and I reached Florean Fortescue's we immediately saw Sirius, he was the idiot yelling at some other idiot for taking his seat while he went to get some ice cream, apparently. James sighed and expertly rubbed his left eye from under his glasses without so much as touching the rim. He gently pulled me by the upper arm towards where Sirius was standing. I saw Peter sitting in a chair at the table and I could hear Sirius' angry voice,

"...was sitting here when you came, where the fuck do you get off telling me that you got here first!" Idiot #2 was a little intimidated by Sirius but he wouldn't back down.

"Look my friends and I," he gestured around the table to his other two companions, "are here to have a good time so can you and your little boyfriend just leave?" Wait, whoa... did I hear right? **Boyfriend?**

"He's not my boyfriend, alright?! My friend here was saving this table!" Oh so that explains it.

"Can't you be reasonable? I have a party of three here so wouldn't it make more sense if you moved to a table for two?" James and I reached the table in time to stop Sirius from getting even angrier. I turned towards James when I heard him speak,

"Hey, I didn't get most of this conversation but we," he said imitating idiot #2 and gestured around the table, "have a party of four so I suggest that **you** be more sensible and move to a table for three." James said as he winked at the man and tried to sit in his lap. The man abruptly stood up to avoid a lap full of James, "Bloody poofs!" he all but screamed. That did it for Sirius and picking up on James' playful attitude reached over, grabbed my face in his hands and brought his lips down on my own. I couldn't believe it! I just got kissed for the first time **ever** by **SIRIUS!** I stood there wide eyed as Sirius so casually kissed me. His lips lingered on mine longer than was necessary. I got kissed. I was kissed. **Me!** I was kissed by...a boy? I'm not gay. I don't have a problem with people who are gay but I am definitely **not** gay. As far as I knew Sirius wasn't gay either he's only thirteen as we all are but he was not a virgin. He hasn't been a virgin since he started Hogwarts and that 7th year decided to give him a nice fuck. I think he only sleeps with girls, doesn't he? I think I think too much... Sirius pulled away and looked at me with the beginnings of a grin on his face and he turned around to idiot #2, who had a disgusted look on his face, and grinned broadly. James and Peter were snickering in their seats and burst out laughing when the man and his friends left Fortescues all together the last guy winked at Sirius as he was got up to leave.

"Thanks for that James; I was getting bloody tired of dealing with arseholes like that." Sirius told James as he literally grabbed a seat turned it so he could straddle the chair.

"Don't worry about it Siri, besides I think you handled is quite well." James said grinning openly at my shocked, wide eyed expression. I immediately returned my facial muscles to normal and sat down in the remaining seat across from Sirius.

"So tell me Remus, does Sirius kiss as good as oh, every other girl in all of Hogwarts, seems to claim that he does?" Questioned Peter and I found the familiar blush creep back into my cheeks.

"I wouldn't know Peter seeing as I've nothing to compare it to..." I let my answer trail off as I caught a glint in Sirius' eye. "That was your first kiss?" Sirius asked sounding scandalized at the thought. I felt my cheeks grow even hotter if that was possible. I looked to my knees and nodded slightly. "Well damn, if I knew that I would have made it much better for you." Merlin! Was it pick on Remus day? Next time I will know better than to ask for attention...

"I'll give you a real kiss if you ask me nicely." Sirius said in a low husky voice as he wiggled his eyebrows. I blushed an even deeper red and groaned resting my forehead on the cool glass of the Fortescue table effectively getting my too long hair covered in Peter's ice cream. I looked up when I heard the snickering and groaned once again when Peter pushed his ice cream towards me,

"Here Remus, you can have this, seems like you need it more than I do." He said while grinning. I grumbled some choice words and put my head down again only this time directly into Peter's ice cream he had so graciously offered to me. James and Sirius nearly fell out of their chairs.

"ARRGGHH! Why me?!" I nearly screamed only increasing the ringing laughter. I grabbed Peter's napkin and wiped my forehead and then tired my hair but it refused to come out. I knew I should have gotten it cut when I had the chance but I didn't because that's the kind of moron I am. Sirius who has chin length black hair which is much longer than mine and all the other boys at Hogwarts, offered me some help. My hair is barely past my ears as opposed to right above them but I still can't manage it. Sirius came and stood to my side. He gently tapped my neck,

"Lean over this way, keep your head down like that and close your eyes." He instructed me as he guided my neck to where he wanted which was dangerously close to his crotch.

"Sirius, what are you doing?" I asked him.

"Shh! be quite and do what I told you." The next thing I know I have freezing water running all over my head seeping into my brain and trickling down my back.

"ARRGGHH!!" I yelped as I jumped up shaking the water from my head. Sirius laughed at me once again and grabbed my shoulder and forced me into the chair again,

"Hold still Remus let me get this out of your hair and I'll do a drying charm." I stayed still as he washed all the ice cream from my hair, and as promised, performed a drying charm.

"Good Merlin, I need a haircut."

"I'll give you one if you want," Sirius offered.

"No Sirius, I rather like my ears..."

"Hey, no, Remus he's actually good at it," Said James they're always defending each other anyways.

"Yeah Remus I cut my own hair all the time"

"You cut your own hair? How can u see what you're cutting in the back?"

"That's why he's so good!" It was true Sirius' hair was perfectly even all around and that little diagonal part making some of it flop over his eye. The guy had talent with hair what can I say?

"Okay, I guess, when we get back to Hogwarts?" I asked.

"Sure!" Sirius' excitedly replied. He concentrated very hard on my face for a while.

"What is it Sirius?" I asked him.

"He's planning out the best way to kiss you again without you thinking it was on purpose!" exclaimed Peter. Sirius playfully swatted Peter on the arm,

"No you fool! I was trying to figure out the best look on him." Sirius replied.

"What? Oh no Sirius that isn't necessary I just want to cut it like it was before."

"Sure Re, whatever you want," but I was sure that wasn't what he meant he was going to fuck my hair up. He had that glint in his eye. Yeah, my hair was dead.

The summer was over. It had gone by in a blur of white doctors' robes and a constant wind of "Hello Remus." I hate these times the most, when my parents take me to one of these robes with high hopes and come back broken hearted. I hate to sit them down and tell them that there **is** no cure, **anywhere** , and there won't be one no matter how hard they look. They always say things like "We have to try Remus" or "What do you expect? For us to just sit around and do nothing?" I try so hard to let them know that their efforts are fruitless but they can't seem to hear me. Well at least it's over until next June.

I was so glad to go back to Hogwarts, it's beyond words! I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my parents. I love them to bits! But I just can't get through to them. Since that night that seems to be branded into my brain, when I was six they have been different towards me. They drown me with their pity. It's like I've been

accepted back into heaven when I go back to Hogwarts.

I have a bit of trouble getting my trunk on the train but that's something I can deal with. I find the nearest empty compartment and sit myself down on the bench so I am in a comfortable position and begin to read. I was so lost in my book that I hadn't noticed that...no one was there? I looked at my watch and mentally slapped myself when I realized I didn't have one. I lowered the window and pushed my head out of it so I could look at the clock hanging on the wall. 10:57 where the hell was everyone? I took a quick look around the station and it was nearly empty of students, all that remained were the parents. I was looking around for Sirius, James, or Peter but none of them were there. The side of the window dug into my side quite painfully when the train lurched forward and we started to leave the station. I crawled back inside the window and shut it. I was once again lost in my book when the door slid open. Finally! When I looked up I didn't see Sirius or James, it was Malfoy! It was a perfect re-enactment of my train ride in first year. The only difference was that in first year I was sitting on the other bench and I was crying. But there was Malfoy, Snape, Crabbe, and Goyle.

"Well if it isn't Loony Lupin?" said Snape silkily or more fittingly greasily.

"Snape," I replied, my voice calm, "and of course Malfoy. Crabbe. Goyle," I answer with a slight nod to each one of them.

"Listen Lupin we'll make a deal with you, you move out of the compartment and we won't hurt you. Okay?" Malfoy said with a sickeningly sweet smile.

"Excuse me? Well where do you expect **me** to sit?"

"Does it look like I care? Sit in the damn hallway for all my fucking concern."

"Err...no."

"No?!"

"No I...I was here first," I was shifting uncomfortably in my seat. Next thing I knew there was a hand on the back of my neck pulling me forward and since my legs were on the seat I fell face first on the dirty carpet. I tried to push myself up but someone **very** heavy sat on my back nearly crushing my small body. He put all his weight on me! I cried out in pain. I could feel Malfoy's steps beneath me as he came into the compartment and kneeled next to me. Crabbe or Goyle had my arms pinned.

"I warned you Lupin," he told me as he grabbed my hair and pulled **hard** and I made an embarrassing half grunt half whimper.

"What the **fuck** do you guys think your doing!?" Thank Merlin! It was James, I would recognize his voice in an instant. His and Sirius'. When you hear something for so long you tend to remember it. The weight was off me so I rolled over on my back only to get my leg stepped on. Sirius called a "Sorry Re!" over his shoulder. Malfoy and Snape were already backing out of the compartment, they beckoned Crabbe and Goyle to them and left throwing insults to James and Sirius.

"You okay Remus?" Peter asked reaching over and touching the side of my face, "Ew. Does it hurt?"

"What are you talking about Peter?"

"There's this gash on your face. I doubt it will scar though it's just bleeding a little," I touched the side of my face there was a small amount of blood.

"No it doesn't hurt, I didn't even know it was there." I replied. James and Sirius were already plotting a way to get Snape and Malfoy back.

"Hey Re, were you in here this whole time?" James asked.

"Yeah, where were you guys?" I answered.

"We were a few compartments down, we thought u were late!"

"I thought **you** guys were late!" We had a few laughs about that and the rest of the train ride involved the usual crazy hyper active James and Sirius. We had loads of chocolate along with other sweets trying to accomplish our goal of getting the biggest stomach ache before we try to stuff ourselves with whatever Hogwarts is serving for the feast.

I've been dreading this moment since I started Hogwarts but of course it **will** happen,

"Okay Remus! Now go up to the showers and wash your hair really good. Whatever you do **make sure** that it doesn't dry. Here you can borrow my shampoo," Sirius opened his shower bag and pulled out two bottles.

"What's the other one for?" I asked morosely.

"It's conditioner Re..." Sirius stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Okay I admit it might be obvious but I'm not rich! I can't waste my money on a thing like conditioner! "you **do** know how to work the shampoo and conditioner right?"

"I'm sure I can figure it out Siri."

"Well I should go with you, you know, in case you need some help or something," He said giving me one of

those really fake open-mouthed, squint-half-of-your-face winks. I just rolled my eyes and shook my head as he followed me out to the showers.

When we got there I started to undress in front of a stall when I noticed Sirius standing behind me with a smirk on his face. I stepped inside the stall and shut the curtain in Sirius' face. It didn't have the same effect as a real door but at least he couldn't peek at me. I undressed, washed my hair, and considered fucking the conditioner but Sirius would find out, he always does. He was oddly quite. I spent an extra few minuets in the shower saying good-bye to my hair. I turned off the water and poked my arm out of the shower stall to feel around the wall for my towel but I couldn't find it anywhere. I pulled the curtain back just enough to poke my head through and looked out to see Sirius sprawled out on a conjured couch with one leg swung over the back so all that was left of his leg was his thigh and knee, he had his head propped up on one hand and was dangling my towel with the other.

"Sirius, give me my towel!" I said thoroughly annoyed.

"Come and get it Re," he had that damned smirk on his face again.

"Sirius!" I yelled outraged at the thought, "I will not go out there naked!"

"Well, why not? No one's here in case you've forgotten." I swear his smirk was **growing** by the second.

" **You're** here aren't you?" 

"Well that's exactly why it shouldn't be a problem, besides I've seen you naked **loads** of times."

" **WHAT**?!"

"Were getting off topic Re!" Sirius said changing the subject, "alright, I'll be nice, you can either come out here and get it,"

" **NO**!"

" **or** you can beg me." I let out a sigh. The days just seem to be dragging along don't they?

"Is that the only way your going to give me the towel?"

"Yup!" I let out yet another sigh.

"Sirius will you **please** give me my towel?"

"No."

"That's not fair! You lying scum bag! You said you would give me my towel if I begged you!"

"But I'm not satisfied," he was full out grinning now.

"Sirius, Oh great one, may I **please** have my towel back?"

"Keep talking like that."

"Sirius the great and mighty leader of our fair gang I beg of you on bended knee for my towel," I said monotonously as I kneeled in the shower stall.

"Alright but only because your hair is drying and I can see your penis from under the curtain," Dammit I fell for his perverted games! I quickly scrambled to my feet and I was blushing. Again. But he finally gave me my towel back. I got my clothes and dressed in a bathroom stall. When I was done Sirius put his hand on my shoulder and walked me back to Gryffindor tower. We went up to the boys dormitories and he sat me down on the floor in front of his bed.

"Okay Remus, try not to move alright?" he asked as he situated himself on his bed with a rather large bag by his side.

"Sure."

"Oh yeah, keep your eyes closed unless you want hair in them." I closed my eyes right away. I could feel him brushing my hair gently. He put the brush down and reached into his bag for the scissors. I felt him shift a little on the bed and he started to snip away at my hair. I couldn't tell what he was doing because I had my eyes closed and I felt kind of weird so I decided it was best if I didn't open my eyes just yet. He put the scissors down a few minuets later and rummaged through his bag.

"Okay don't open your eyes till I tell you to, okay?" he said.

"Sure," I replied. He was kneeling in front of me and I felt him grab some of my hair. He did a kind of weird pulling thing then he tucked it behind my ear and did the same on the other side. He went behind me again, did something with his comb and sprayed this stuff all over my head.

"Can I open my eyes yet?" I asked him.

"No, I told you I would tell you when you could!"

"Alright, alright." I herd a shifting noise and felt something land on my head which made me shiver. Sirius kneeled in front of me again and poked at my eye with something.

"Ow! What the hell do you think your doing?" I told him but I didn't open my eyes for fear of what I might see. He grabbed me by the back of the neck and pulled me towards him once again.

"Hold still Remus I'm not going to hurt you!" Sirius reassured me.

"Errmm..." he finished with my eyes and put his finger to my lips the top one then the bottom one.

"Okay, you can open you eyes now, Re"

"No, I don't want to see it." I reached up to touch my face when Sirius slapped my hands away.

"Leave your face alone! Now come on." He pulled me to the mirror hanging on the wall. I reluctantly opened my eyes,

"Oh. My. God. Sirius what the **fuck** did you do?!" Sirius cut my hair so it was slanted. It was longer in the front and got shorter in the back and went back down again to the other side of my hair. My hair was brushed up in the back so it looked like little spikes and my bangs were plastered to the side of my face until they went behind my ear. I had gold glitter all in my hair, black eye liner, and lip gloss. I loved it!

"I hate it! You completely massacred my hair Sirius!" but I couldn't keep a straight face. He grabbed me by the upper arm and dragged me downstairs before I could protest. It was surreal it seemed like for once I was getting attention and all because I had a new hair style?

"Remus?" James questioned. I blushed.

"Hey James," I know it was stupid but what was I Supposed to say?

"Wow," James took a step back and looked at me, "I must say Siri, you did a great job." I **have** to stop with the blushing, honestly.

"Yup, yup, my proudest work," Sirius said nodding along with James.

"Remus, you're fucking gorgeous," James stated bluntly. He could get away with saying something like that.

"Err...thanks," I said. I put my hands behind my back and looked at my feet, it's a nervous habit, "thank you Sirius. You **do** realize your going to have to do this for me every morning right?" Have you ever heard the saying `Laughter is the best medicine'? I've learned that it can be true, when the appropriate time arises of course. This is such a weird time. I don't know anything anymore, it's not in a bad way or anything but it feels like I'm growing up when I know I'm not. I'm still Remus. I like the same things I used to like when I was in first year but it's different. I actually grew! I haven't done that in about six years! Alright so that's an exaggeration but I was easily the shortest Marauder. Standing next to Sirius or James who were about 5'8-5'9 at thirteen!! I was barely 5'0! Peter was at least 5'3. I swear I feel like a fucking house elf standing next to them! Well the point is I've grown and I think I'm okay with my appearance now. I was startled out of my thoughts when I felt a twinge of pain and I jumped a little. Someone **pinched** me on the ass!

"Ow!" I said as I reached out to rub my butt. I turned to see who did it.

"Sorry Lupin, I couldn't help it." I didn't even know this girl! James and Sirius were sitting with their arms around each others shoulders laughing at my expense. I heard a cheer behind me and I realized it was still rubbing my ass.

"Hey James I think Re here is getting more attention than us!" said Sirius loudly.

"Dammit Sirius!" James exclaimed slamming his fist on the coffee table for emphasis, "I think your right. What are we going to do bout this?" they both rested their elbows on their knees and cupped their chins in their hands. They turned to each other smirking. They stood up. Sirius grabbed James' ass and pulled their groins together while James put his hand on the back on Sirius' head and pulled him in for a big wet kiss. When they pulled apart everyone was silent,

"Jamie dear, you need to brush," Sirius said and everyone laughed approvingly.

It was a good year, third year, it started off well enough. I had new feelings, and a new haircut. It was like I was living another life. The moons were getting worse though. I was even sent home one time after a full moon because it was so bad. My parents checked me into Saint Mungo's. They wanted to know why I was getting worse. It turns out that as I was growing the wolf was also. That means that he is getting stronger because I'm supposed to be getting stronger also. The robes were afraid of me. I could **feel** it. It was starting to scare me, I was becoming more like the wolf each day and I got moody. The robes suggested that I be in solitary confinement and it took all I had not to bite him, It wouldn't make him a werewolf that only works on full moons, but it would scare him.

The robes said that I was going to have to work harder to control the wolf and I would have mood swings. That made me mad for some reason. I wasn't getting mean or anything, I was always good at hiding my emotions but I got mad a lot easier than before. I was forced to go to counseling in Hogwarts once a week so I wouldn't loose control. I didn't mind it I was actually grateful for the help. After a wile I had it under control. It was easier for me now, and I was nearly myself again. It was half way through third year already, everyone was out in Hogsmeade and Sirius wanted to talk with me, I took a seat on the couch in the Gryffindor common room and he sat on the other end not too far from me,

"Re, I've told you before that I am attracted to both boys and girls," Sirius stated

"Yeah..." I said curious as to why he would bring this up.

"Well that's not necessarily true."

"What are you talking about Sirius?"

"I'm attracted to **you** Remus."

"Your what?" I asked standing up off of the couch.

"I like you Remus," He said standing up facing me.

"Sirius I'm not gay." That got him to look up at me.

"Oh, well, I assumed, you...you never talk about girls."

"Umm...I think I'm going to take a little nap right now." I said turning slightly and pointing my thumbs towards the stairway.

"Remus I'm sorry if you're uncomfortable with this. I hope we can still be friends," He asked with a note of pleading in his voice. I shifted my weight a little and looked at my feet, "I'll understand if you don't want to be friends anymore...erm just...say something" he said looking down too.

"I don't want to be friends with you anymore."

"Oh...I'll...leave then."

What the fuck did I just do?


End file.
